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Detective Column

This column is the English version of a column written in Japan.

Disclaimer
This column was originally written in Japanese and has been translated into English for your convenience. Please note that the legal information and references discussed here apply specifically to Japanese laws and regulations. If you require legal advice or information relevant to your own country, we recommend consulting a qualified professional who is knowledgeable about the laws in your area.

Women’s Affairs Often Go Undetected! How to Catch a Wife’s Infidelity

It’s often said that “men are poor liars” and “women have sharp instincts and catch on quickly,” which supposedly makes men’s affairs easier to discover. News reports also seem more inclined to spotlight cheating or infidelity by men rather than women. As a result, it’s widely believed that women’s affairs tend to go unnoticed. However, are there ways to see through a wife’s affair if it exists? Below, we’ll discuss several methods to spot signs of a wife’s infidelity, along with steps to take if you discover she’s been unfaithful.

How to Detect a Woman’s Infidelity

Let’s begin by exploring ways to spot a woman’s affair. Not all women will fit these patterns, but there are certain common behaviors among those who do cheat. Being aware of them could prove useful if suspicions arise.

New Underwear or Clothing

An affair for a wife can feel like a brand-new romance. Think back to the early stages of dating—dressing well, putting on makeup, and paying attention to one’s appearance. Many who cheat purchase new underwear or clothes for meeting their lover. Especially telling are changes in undergarments, which could indicate she’s trying to impress someone else. In some cases, a wife might hide these new items where her husband isn’t likely to notice, so it’s worth keeping an eye out.

Her Smartphone Lock Method Has Changed

Most women who cheat communicate with their partner via smartphone—messaging apps, social media, or perhaps seeking someone via a dating app. Naturally, they would lock their phone to keep family members from discovering the truth. A mother managing childcare, however, might say she’s changed her lock method to prevent her kids from using it. If she’s suddenly disallowing anyone from touching her phone, it could be a red flag.

Bringing Up “Cheating/Infidelity” News Stories

When TV coverage focuses on affairs and infidelity, some men tune out or dismiss the topic. On the other hand, wives might use it as an opportunity to see their spouse’s reaction. It’s not uncommon for a cheating wife to indirectly broach the topic, saying things like “Cheating is absolutely unforgivable, right?” If she’s conspicuously bringing it up, she might be projecting her own feelings on the subject.

Suddenly Interested in Fortune-Telling or Feng Shui

Affairs can’t be shared openly, so a wife with no one to confide in might seek spiritual or mystical guidance. If she’s suddenly into fortune-telling, feng shui, or other forms of divination, it might be that she’s looking for emotional support in coping with an extramarital relationship.

Mood Swings: Annoyed One Moment, Elated the Next

A woman who’s emotionally invested in a romantic relationship outside her marriage may experience dramatic mood shifts. If the affair partner is distant or unresponsive, she becomes irritable. If he’s attentive and affectionate, she’s in high spirits. Men tend to separate family life from an affair more easily, but women can carry those romantic highs and lows into the home. If your wife’s temperament has been erratic, you might investigate what’s causing it.

Sudden Demand for Divorce

Becoming infatuated with a lover sometimes leads a wife to cut ties with her current marriage and start anew. Women often act decisively, reasoning “If we’re going to part ways eventually, better to address it now.” If your wife insists on divorce out of nowhere or cites reasons you find baseless, she could be seriously involved with someone else. Consider the possibility that she’s cheating if her rationale for divorce seems inconsistent or flimsy.

What to Do When You Discover a Wife’s Infidelity

Even if you notice several signs from the list above, keep in mind that these behaviors only suggest potential cheating, not proof. To confirm, you need concrete evidence or further investigation. Below are suggestions on how to proceed if you suspect your wife is cheating.

Find Out Who the Other Person Is

If you confirm your wife’s unfaithfulness, you’ll likely need to discuss next steps, including potential divorce or a claim for damages. Typically, spouses can have conflicting views on these decisions, so it’s essential to have a clear picture of what’s happening. Know not only whether she is cheating but also its duration and other relevant details. Especially when children are involved, custody could be at stake. You should also identify if the affair partner is financially stable or if the affair may compromise the children’s well-being. If you plan to sue for damages, you’ll need that information as well.

Discuss the Future

You don’t have to decide everything immediately upon discovering her affair. First, gather solid evidence and clarify the circumstances. Then, talk together about what will happen next—especially if you have kids. Determining who the child will live with and how to manage finances (including possibly seeking child support) is crucial. If you’re leaning toward a separation or divorce, plan carefully and in a timely manner to minimize stress on everyone.

Summary

Women’s infidelity is known to be more discreet, yet there are still indicators that may alert you if she’s cheating. Because wives are often better at hiding things, and husbands less apt to detect the clues, it’s challenging to gather clear proof on your own. If you need definitive evidence or want to learn more about the affair partner, consider consulting a professional detective or investigation agency. Solid proof not only helps expedite discussions and potential settlements but also ensures you’re well-positioned to defend your interests and those of your family.

Japanese Detective Column