“Does Cheating Always Repeat?” Common Traits of Chronic Cheaters
Finding out your partner has cheated is deeply upsetting. You might respond by immediately seeking divorce, or you might think, “Maybe I can forgive a one-time mistake, depending on how my partner acts.” Yet, as the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” suggests, infidelity is often repeated. Is the recurrence rate truly high, and what characterizes someone with a “cheating habit”? Read on to find out.
Is It True That “Cheating Always Repeats”?
You’ve likely heard cautionary tales of celebrities who were discovered to have been cheating for years—even after their spouse found out, they continued the affair. Many people claim “You should never forgive cheating.” Indeed, “cheating always repeats” sadly holds true in many cases. While it’s not guaranteed, the patterns often look like this:
- The cheating spouse believes they haven’t been caught.
- They remain deeply attached to their lover.
Because of this, infidelity can persist. Also, under Japanese divorce law, repeated relations with the same partner is a major factor in recognizing adultery as a reason for divorce.
Repeating the Affair with the Same Person
A common pattern is having “broken it off once, yet ending up in the same affair again.” While infidelity can lead to divorce, many find the legal and emotional process daunting, so they hesitate to leave. Often, people say, “He promised he would never do it again, so I forgave him.” But it’s not unusual that, after seemingly cutting ties, the affair restarts. Then, if you hire a detective or an agency for a new investigation, you learn the lover is the same person.
Possible explanations include:
- The longer the affair goes on, the more they become attached.
- They lack the capacity to commit to just one partner.
- They have a strong dependency or appetite for relationships beyond their spouse.
Upon hearing such reasons, any promises of “It was only once” or “I won’t do it again” may sound unconvincing.
Repeated Affairs with Multiple Partners
Another scenario: someone cheats, seemingly ends it, and reverts to normal married life—until they find a new partner to cheat with. In such cases, they may simply be unsuited to monogamy. Not everyone is comfortable with the norms of Japan’s single-spouse marriage system. Many people in this position end up divorcing to pursue the lifestyle they prefer.
Who Tends to Cheat Repeatedly? What Is a “Cheating Habit”?
Ideally, you’d never suffer through a partner’s infidelity. Below are key traits of people likely to cheat repeatedly. If you’re trying to overcome your own wandering impulses, these might be relevant, too.
Strong Sexual Desire
Regardless of gender, a high sex drive may increase the likelihood of affairs. Marriage might bring times with little or no sexual intimacy—for instance, during pregnancy and childbirth. If someone’s sexual needs remain unmet, they might turn to an affair again and again.
Potential red flags include a partner who pushes for physical intimacy early on or insists on extremely frequent sex. If you recognize your own high libido, think about ways to address it without straying.
A Wide Social Circle
Many affairs begin “over drinks”—office parties, events, reunions, or simply nights out with coworkers and friends. The more social gatherings, the more chances for meeting potential lovers. However, not everyone who’s sociable is prone to cheating.
Nevertheless, if your partner frequently attends gatherings with mixed company, pay attention. At least ask them to reduce the frequency or let you know who will be there. And if you’ve been labeled a social butterfly, be mindful of your partner’s concern. Show respect if they request updates or clarifications.
Extroverted and Constantly on the Move
Some people can’t stand staying in. They relish going out and being active every weekend. While that can be fun, it can also signal restlessness—someone who might not be well-suited to the settled routines of marriage. If a new, appealing partner catches their eye, they may drift away.
Not all extroverts behave this way, but if your significant other seemed restless before marriage, be cautious. And if you suspect you’re the type who can’t settle down, consider deeply whether marriage is right for you.
Preventing Repeat Affairs
Catching your partner cheating doesn’t always end in divorce. Some couples choose to rebuild. If you’d rather not end the marriage, keep in mind that stopping a cheating habit often requires “deep remorse.”
A helpful tool is a written pledge—a formal commitment stating they won’t cheat again. If broken, penalties could include:
- Paying a certain sum of money
- Handing over property or consenting to divorce
If you know the lover’s name and address, you can create a similar document with them as well. Such a pledge is often notarized, making it legally enforceable in case you need compensation or damages. Showing strong determination—“I won’t allow cheating again”—can deter a partner from repeating their mistakes.
Conclusion
A single instance of infidelity is shocking enough, but repeated cheating can leave you wondering how to cope. Gather clear evidence of the affair, seek compensation or a pledge, and try to stop repeated transgressions. Remember, to be effective in mediation or court, you need evidence that meets legal standards. A private investigator or detective agency can provide such documentation—consider consulting them if you’re dealing with repeated infidelity.
